It became evident to my husband that our situation was beyond human remedy. If something was going to change, it had to be caused by some kind of supernatural intervention. It had to be an act of God and God alone.
My state of rebellion, as a prodigal wife, had destroyed every aspect of trust in our marriage, and my husband was weary of trying to convince me not to pursue a life separate from him in the far country. We had been down every broken road, and I needed a new direction, but had no idea that I was only running from an inner battle of my own. Later on, I would finally turn to God and face the darkness inside of me that kept me running for so long.
Upon my departure, my husband’s back was up against a wall. He was desperate for the answers, but as he let go, he turned to God and began shedding his self-confidence. He knew he had done everything he could possibly do.
From a prodigal’s perspective, once he really let go, and I mean honestly and truly let go in his heart and soul, thereby trusting in God to meet all of his needs, something significant changed between us. I was no longer the center of his universe, where everything revolved around me. God would take His rightful place and his life would be filled with purpose and meaning with or without me. The shift of expectations led to the sense of freedom that we were both searching for. We did not have anymore pressures that were too heavy to uphold. We were both freed from the demands of fulfilling what only God could.
Do you see the point? Once my husband felt there was no way forward, like we were stuck in a realm of an impossible situation, he let go of his fears, and trusted God. He saw the circumstances, he saw my lack of interest in our family, and the lack of desire to be his wife, and despite all of his prayers, our marriage appeared to be dead, but he trusted in God explicitly to make the necessary changes within both of us.
Who else can relate to these circumstances where things appear to be dead, and there appears to be no hopeful signs of change in your prodigal?
You see your prodigal’s life, you see the consequences of sin, and when you’re brutally honest, you see no change. Maybe you’ve been waiting and praying for many years for your prodigal to return home and you’re feeling desperate too, but feeling desperate isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Just like it was for my husband, it can be a step towards shedding off self-confidence and relying on God.
When a stander takes their focus off of their prodigal, God can help them to see Him so clearly that His promises are more real than the circumstances, and that is when a stander can truly let go, and give God all the glory, not because the circumstances have changed, but because their faith in Him has grown.
I can tell you from my experience, the change that occurred from my husband’s faith in God was the formula that brought me back home.
Don’t give up. With God there is always hope.
Heart of a Wife 
Jennie, Thank You for your post, I have checked daily since I found your site. Did not see this on Saturday as I stayed busy the best I could just to pass the time. I have turned our situation over to God many times over the past months, only to realize I picked it back up. I am at the point of giving up, as I don’t see any change of heart. Most everything you said in the post is true to my situation. I just want to encourage you to keep posting as it does help others, even if they do not leave a reply.
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Wow, thank you. I needed to hear this because not many people seem to comment or interact on my blog. I know there is a method to blogging. One day, I will figure it out. God bless you. I’m so glad that my story speaks directly to you.
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Jenny,
I find hope in reading your blog.
I know God wanted me to read what you have to say. It really is eye opening and much of it explains to me why in such a storm I’m able to experience peace…it is the peace of God as I surrender everything to Him. I know God has told me “get out of the way! I got this!”.
Thank you for sharing your experience.
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Hi Jeannie,
Your story sounds like mine, but it is my husband who is emotionally absent. It definitely was not always this way and I’ve had my fair share of responsibility in the damage done to my marriage. I now know that I am powerless to change things but God is all powerful and He is exactly what I need. He is exactly what our marriage needs. Please continue to testify. Your journey is helping me and I’m sure others as well.
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Hi Lanle,
Thank you so much for being transparent. It sounds like you are willing to see where you fell short on your end. There are so many women who are so busy looking at their husband’s faults that they fail to see their own. Being honest with ourselves is the only power we have to change both ourselves and possibly our marriages. Open communication is key if your husband is open to it. It’s good to begin with you trying to understand his needs first. Keep praying for the discernment to understand your husband. Thank you again for your feedback.
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Found this when I was just about to give up hope. Just like God to do this and lead me here! Thank you so much for your series of articles, you are truly a beacon of light and part of God’s weapons against satan! God bless you!
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Thank you for this. I’ve had this on my phone for years, and I’ve gone through so much since my wife left, and with the changes within myself, and looking back at what I’ve learned from this, it’s really like an angel or teacher was sent to me to teach me and learn from this experience and open my eyes to how much life can be our teacher to show us what we need to change to become a better person. I was in a dark place, with no light and was blinded, in a pit. I struggled with depression for years and I know this hurt my wife. She did all she could to help, but it could not be done by her, only God’s intervention saved me from falling further. I thought my whole world was ending when she told me, but it was the wake up call I needed. We are still apart, but I have finally found peace and comfort within myself. Your story continues to give me hope, along with knowing this is in Gods hands, that alone gives me hope and peace within my heart. Nevertheless this has been a blessing for me and my daughter
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