A Husband has an authoritative responsibility as the head of the home to make the final decisions. This is after he carefully weighs out the pros and cons, while putting the best interest of his wife and family first. Although a husband should respect and value his wife’s input in order to make his final decisions, the submissive wife understands that she does NOT hold equal weight in the decision making. He has the responsibility of leadership that she does not have. She understands that men and women are created differently. Therefore, both have different “responsibilities” in a marriage, yet there is NO EQUALITY in them. For instance, if a wife had equal headship, there would be no need for her to submit to her husband. Sadly, many times, headship is completely overridden by women who refuse to respect their husband’s authoritative position. These women commonly judge their husband’s performance as a gauge to justify making their own decisions, which are often against their husband’s.
The wife’s role includes trusting Jesus to handle her husband and his decisions. God instructs the wife what to do in situations where her husband is falling short. This would not include a wife overriding her husband’s authority, anymore than she would assume authority over Christ. If she is to submit to her husband AS to the Lord, how can she think to usurp her husband’s authority? The Word of God says “ I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God,” (1 Corinthians 11:3). Trusting in God is what it all comes down to. Our obedience, even when we don’t fully understand WHY God would tell us to do something, reveals the measure of our trust in Him.
As a side note: In knowing who the Lord is, wives are certainly not commanded to endure abuse. This would only enable their husbands to continue to sin. It is critical to distinguish the difference between what God commands of us as godly submissive wives versus taking part in submitting to wicked requests.
A wife should always contribute towards her family’s well-being, and her husband must make the final determination regarding any decisions they may deem necessary. Even when a husband may decide to appoint his wife as the decision maker in a particularly important matter, he still ultimately bears the responsibility of the entire family before God. Wives must support their husband’s decisions as long as it does not disobey God by causing them to sin.
Because men and women have different roles, they should not feel as though one is better or more important than the other. It is clear that a husband and a wife need each other, “Nevertheless in the Lord, woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman,” (Corinthians 11:11). Marriage between a man and woman is a joint mission that requires each of their differences. They need each other in order to do their part by fulfilling the roles that God designed them to do … whereas the man leads, and the woman follows, and yet together they move in perfect in harmony.