Everyone wants a better marriage, but most women don’t want to hear that they are the ones that need to change the way they behave, when all they are doing is blaming their husbands for everything. It’s so easy to blame our husbands instead of realizing that we ourselves are in need some changing. It’s so easy to point the blame on our husbands, rather than realizing we are not all sunshine and roses, and that we need to step up to the plate.
I get it! Trust me, I know. I’ve been there, where blaming my husband for my unhappiness was something that I felt couldn’t escape!
No one wants to hear someone ask, “Hey, have you taken into account your own bitterness and continuous need to play the blame-game?” “Have you even considered that you aren’t willing to meet your husband needs?”
We have all fallen into this place of self-pity, where all we want to do is point fingers and blame one another. Many of us have fallen into a place where we have been so disappointed, that all we can do is feel our own pain. At some point, we have to be willing to do our part. Let’s stop looking for our husbands to do everything to heal our disheartened state of soul, and to make up for all they have not done, to fulfill our expectations.
At some point, we have to realize that our husbands can’t heal us of our own resentment and pain. They are not the reason we continue to resent them. Our unhappiness only stems from our own bitter reactions towards them … again and again.
We have to stop looking for all those articles that keep telling us to honor feelings that aren’t even based on the truth. Our feelings are often misleading, because what we are believing in our own hearts, may have absolutely nothing to do with God. Many times, our feelings are not based on truth because there is no faith- no faith in God’s Word.
Many times, our feelings will lead us into things that have nothing to do with the righteousness of God. This is why we are to be guided by the Holy Spirit and not by our own feelings. Trust me sisters, honoring my own feelings was once how I led my life … and all to no avail!
We do not have a better plan than God for our marriages, so we must rely on His truth, and stop playing by our own rules.
I’m so tired of hearing women talk about how they “feel” about their husbands, when they aren’t willing to look themselves in the mirror, and see how they have deceived themselves. And Ohhhh how they continue to be indignant, and to demand their own ways, just to control their husbands and avoid themselves!
Yes, our husbands may be FAR from perfect, but so are the many wives that have become so full of disrespect, rather than submitting to their husbands, and obeying God’s Word. Do we as women think that our problems are too big for God, or have we just convinced ourselves that we have a right to judge and be our husband’s God?
Until there is some kind of self-awareness of our own behaviors, all that will happen is self-pity and division. Until we take the plank out of our own eye, we will never see the tiny speck in their eye. In other words, we will always think our husbands are the problem, if we aren’t willing to see our own mistakes!
It breaks my heart to see women continually pouring their hearts out in public about their husbands, when we are supposed to respect them (no matter what) and be discreet! How is it that we believe by talking about our problems we will solve them? The truth is that our words are containers that hold power. So aren’t we to speak our words in faith?
If we think our feelings are our God, then good luck, because eventually our feelings will lead us to think our husbands are the enemy! Is that what we want, to keep looking like we are so holy, like we are perfectly noble, when there’s nothing but smut about our husbands posted all over the internet? Let’s stop poisoning our marriages and get a grip on our own lives! We need to stop the disrespect, and learn how to do our part as virtuous wives.
Let’s choose faith over fear, and respect our husbands.
Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct (1 Peter 3:1).