My husband tried everything to make me happy. He practically turned himself inside out just to bring a smile to my face. He tried relentlessly to be my hero, and to rescue me from my own misery, but the more he tried, the more unhappy I became.
One day he asked himself, “What in the world am I doing? “Nothing that I have done has made her happy!” This was the day that everything began to change, and also the day that my life had truly begun. This was the pivotal point where my husband decided that all he was doing was stepping on God’s toes.
Not long after this everything came tumbling down on me. My daughter ran away from home, I was a mess, and my marriage was estranged. I was left in my own pile of unhappiness, just to stare at the destructive choices in my life, and the heartbreaking shame.
I can honestly say that my behavior was selfish and ungrateful for everyone in my life. And to be brutally honest, my behavior was abusive to my family’s souls. I mean after all, I couldn’t see that I was the one causing most of the problems. I was so busy staring at my husband’s faults, that I refused to see my own.
I blamed my husband for the bitter old fruit that I had become. I denied that the destructive choices I was making with my life was causing all of the harm. I was completely defensive and lashed out with sharp words and bitterness from my own tongue.
My husband knew that I was spiraling down into this dark hole, but he made a promise to God that he had to let go of cleaning up my own mess… to let go of trying to save me from my own unhappiness. He knew that if he kept holding on, I would never hit rock bottom, and feel the sting of my own soul.
I will not hide that this was not a pretty moment in my life … and as time went on it got even uglier.
It was in fact, the most painful time of our lives …
It was a long road to my recovery, and it took my husband’s patience. He made the unselfish decision to put up with me, no matter what it would take. He moved his fear aside and was led by his unshakable faith.
No matter how broken I was, he was completely committed to loving me for the rest of my life. There was no way that he was going to give up on God, and the promise of our marriage being everything that our hearts truly desired.
For many years, I was left inside my own walls of isolation. It wasn’t until my daughter’s run away that I woke up and had to face everything. It was the final straw that broke the camel’s back. This was the day that everything was pulled out from beneath me. I was thrown into a pile of my own mess … and when I had to finally face my own living Hell.
This was the breakthrough moment of my life … when I finally opened my heart and heard the still, small voice of God. I knew that it was finally time for me to wake up, and clean up the entire mess that I made.
I knew my happiness was a choice that I had to make for myself, and then everything in my life would begin to change.
It was truly a miracle how God gave my husband the position to be my hero anyway … he gave him the strength to love me through it all, and to never give up hope that I would be saved.
It was truly a miracle how the changes in me … changed everything for my family.
We are truly the story of a family that never gives up hope, and will continue to love one another through thick and thin.