I know that some of us as wives really believe that our unhappiness is our husband’s fault. There was a time that I believed that too. I was so convinced of it, that my resentment and vengeance turned my heart into stone. I spent years blaming him for my unhappiness, instead of discovering my own. I really thought that because I was so unhappy, he must have been doing something terribly wrong. Until I realized that I was just using his life as a distraction because I feared facing the truth about myself. This reality struck me to the core as I turned my attention away from his life, and saw the ruins of my own.

I know the truth about my unhappiness is not only my story, but a story that many other woman have suffered from as well.

I am also aware that many of us have spouses that aren’t making good choices with their own lives. However, that doesn’t give us a right to try to fix their problems while we continue to deny our own.

Many of us get so wrapped up in our husband’s identity that we lose complete sight of our own.

So, is our unhappiness really our husband’s fault?

The truth is…Our lost identity is the reason for the unhappy place in our own hearts and souls.

So no matter how convinced we are that they are the cause, remember they are not. In the effort to make excuses for ourselves, we have only avoided knowing the truth … that our unhappiness is because of the poor choices we have made with our own lives. Ouch, sometimes the truth hurts!

Maybe some of us are just reading this truth for the first time, and know in our hearts this has been the major problem that we have denied, and is unfortunately, the reason for the many tears that we have had to cry.

I know all too well how this reality feels when our self-esteem is completely gone, and how worthless we think we’ve become.

Trust me precious ones, as bad as this may seem, your journey is not yet done.

Our unhappiness is not something that has to go on … this is a journey that begins by changing in our hearts and minds.

~ Our freedom will only begin when we stop expecting our husbands to change to make us happy, and begin to change our own lives.

~ Although our husbands may be an enhancement to our lives, they are not responsible for our happiness, because the fact of the matter is that only we are.

~ We are completely powerless to try change their lives, we can only control the destiny of our own.

~ We have no business getting so wrapped up in the lives of our husbands, without taking responsibility for the desires and interests of our own.

~ Trying to fix their problems doesn’t fix our own.

~ Distracting ourselves doesn’t ever get us to our goals.

~ Obsessively revolving our thoughts around our husband’s faults will only keep us running around in circles.

~ Let’s stop focusing our attention on our husband’s faults and begin to correct our own.

~ Complaining about them will only keep us running from ourselves.

Our husbands are not the entire purpose and meaning for our lives. So, we can not go on resenting them, because we made the choice to give up everything in our own lives, and have lived for them to fill our own voids.

In the end, when we aren’t staying true to ourselves, we will never know who we are, and remain unhappy with those we are supposed to love.

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