Doubt raises questions for many people in suffering marriages. It may make you ask yourself things like,
“Did God really say my spouse will return home?”
“Will my marriage really be restored one day?”
“Does the Word of God really mean that a covenant marriage is until death?”
Doubt is often the enemy’s entry point into our minds. Simple questions about God’s promises to us can enable Satan to influence us negatively.
Unbelief is far worse than doubt. Doubt raises the questions, but fear and unbelief is the result. The enemy launches his attacks by posing questions, and then subtly causing those questions to bring doubt into our minds. With the opening, Satan establishes a stronghold in your mind, and from there it takes little to move you one step further to doubting your marriage will ever be restored.
I am familiar with this battle because I used to doubt that my marriage could ever be even remotely close to what I wanted. I allowed Satan to convince me of this lie for so long that I eventually believed my marriage was over! Everyday, I listened to the constant whisper of Satan’s evil plans for my life. Little by little, I was held captive, and believed that I married the wrong man. It wasn’t long after this that my fantasy turned my life upside down, and into the prodigal’s pursuit of Mr. Right in a far away place.
It was a sheer miracle, while in the midst of utter chaos and confusion, I finally heard God’s voice whisper above the enemy’s lies to “go home”. It took time to acknowledge God’s call to go back home, simply because I still had doubts about the truth. I continued to have doubts and began to ask myself, “How will I really know God’s will for my marriage?”
When I was struggling to take God totally at His Word, I was continually drawn back to the Bible to study the scriptures that would answer my questions. I began hearing the Holy Spirit speak to my heart. Even when I was not studying the Word, He reminded me in many situations what the truth about God’s will was for my marriage.
Verses such as Genesis 2:22-24 (The Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of a man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh, she shall be called “woman” for she was taken out of man. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be united to his wife. And they will become one flesh), and Mark 10:9 (Therefore, Let no man separate what God has joined together) kept resounding in my heart and mind. As I became more honest with myself, I realized that ever since the day that I left my husband, I felt like I was missing a part of me, and it was tearing me up inside.
One scripture after another kept popping up in my mind, reminding me I needed to believe God’s Word that I was created for my husband as his wife, and that nothing would dissolve our marriage except for the death of a spouse. I suddenly began to understand that my marriage was a covenant union for life. I went on to study other powerful scriptures to help me undo all the lies and build more faith to return home.
I found myself meditating on Malachi 2:13-14 (Another thing you do. You flood the Lord’s altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands. You ask, “Why?” Because the Lord is acting as a witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant).
The more that I studied, the less I struggled to believe that God was speaking to me profoundly, revealing that God was a witness between my husband and I, and claimed our marriage as a lifetime covenant. I knew by the way it was illustrated in my mind that I was not to break my faith from this covenant we made before Him.
I took every scripture and kept praying and asking, “What is your call on my life?” God spoke to my heart, and the words “I hate divorce” kept resounding in my ears. God kept revealing to me his heart for marriage restoration and repeatedly I heard “go home.” I came across so many scriptures on the permanence of marriage, all of which solidified that my return home was inevitable.
I found myself meditating on 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 (To the married I give this command, not I, but the Lord- A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife).
Once again, I prayed and asked God what His will was for my marriage and heard, “You are seeking to marry someone else for your own selfish pleasure.” “ Go back to your own husband and reconcile, as I have already commanded you to, this is my will for you as his wife.”
Then I took my prayer one step further to strengthen my faith about the truth and asked God, “What if I did divorce my husband and marry another man while he was still alive?” And God spoke and reminded me of Romans 7:3 (If while my husband lives, I married another man, I would be called an adulteress).
As the Holy Spirit pursued me and convicted me of the truth, I knew that I was wrong on every single account for leaving and separating from my husband, and seeking to marry another man. I finally had no doubt in my mind of the truth, and believed His desire for my life was to “go home.”
No sooner did I make a call to my husband to give him the good news, and began packing my bags. I was coming home to love him, without any doubt that this was where I belonged.
I can say now that I fought the battles and won them with God’s grace, but God does not show partiality, and what he has done for me, He can do for you too.
Whether you are the stander waiting for your spouse to return, or the prodigal spouse wandering around aimlessly, wondering where you belong, just keep on believing in His promises. Do what He says. It is possible to start all over and overcome every hinderance that prevents you from restoring your marriage.
I encourage you to ask the Lord for courageous perseverance and the faith you need to keep believing … there is hope