It hurts to keep secrets, and the practice of such will make our souls wither away according to Psalm 32:3. Secrecy is associated with a lower state of well-being, ill health, and less satisfying relationships. Research has linked secrecy to increased anxiety, depression, symptoms of poor health, and even more rapid progression of disease. It is hard to keep secrets locked away inside without ever admitting our guilt for doing wrong to others. Secrecy will only eat away at us as we struggle to deny what we are hiding inside. The problem with keeping secrets is having to live with them, and think about them, along with our own guilty thoughts.
Concealing sin takes a lot of mental energy. It is exhausting because we are left feeling isolated and alone to ruminate on our secrets, and struggle to keep them from others. The more people think about their secrets, and deny their problems, the more ashamed, isolated, anxious, and phony they feel. In the midnight hours our mind tends to wander off to our secrets, as our conscience continues to convict us, urging us to face the truth. Fighting against our guilty conscience to deny the truth goes against God, and therefore is harmful to our well-being. Being completely open and honest with God about our secrets, by admitting to our sins, is the first step that will make us realize that we have become a person we really were not meant to be.
Why Should We Confess Our Sins to One Another (James 5:16)?
James 5:16 tells us that “we are to confess our sins to one another and pray for each other so that we may be healed. The prayer of the righteous person is powerful and effective.” Our private confession to God is necessary because it cleanses us and restores our fellowship with Him (1 John 1:9). Likewise, when we seek honest reconciliation with a person we have wronged, we gain a restored relationship both with God and the other person.
The word confess means “to admit” or to say the same thing as God does about sin and share His perspective. It involves identifying sin for what it truly is, honestly acknowledging the offenses we have committed, and actively using our faith to undo the damage. Confession and repentance include a turning away from sin by changing our actions.
Confessing our sins to one another can break the power of secrets sins when honesty and truth take its place. To stop telling lies we must be perfectly open and honest about our shortcomings and struggles with sin. Hidden sin not only separates us from God, but also isolates us from others. Confession on the other hand releases us from guilt, and brings us God’s mercy, forgiveness, reconciliation, blessings, and a state of well-being through truth, honesty, and purity.
Stuck in Denial
When a woman gets stuck in a downward spiral of persistent sin it is hard for her to get out. Often fear of facing the truth causes many to remain in denial. One of the effects of maintaining a sinful lifestyle is that it makes sinning easier. Persisting in the same sin makes it easily rationalized, justified, and denied. Sin is never fun to face, and it takes tremendous courage to do so. With God’s help, you must seek to discover the habits you have formed that are causing you to sin. What a great discovery it is when you can finally face your sin with honesty and courage. This allows you to break free from anything you are in denial about regarding your sins and overcome them with the triumphant victory that God wants you to experience!
By your insensitivity to sin, you have grieved the Holy Spirit and become desensitized to Jesus. Because of this, you are now less likely to feel the shock or shame of your sins. By distancing yourself from the Holy Spirit to live in sin, you distance yourself from God. If you cannot confess your sin, how can you know Him or love Him? “If we say we have fellowship with Him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth” (John 1:6). There is a call here then to uncover the sins in your life. This requires an honest examination of your lifestyle, as well as having the willingness to openly evaluate your life and deal with the consequences.
Whenever you speak with God alone, you should not fear being totally honest with Him. He already knows all the details of your story and wants nothing more than to forgive you and heal your soul. Do not fear that you will not be forgiven. There is no moral scale that says someone’s sins are not forgivable unless we blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. Blasphemy of the Holy Spirit is a conscious decision to deny God’s truth. God says in 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins He is faithful to forgive us. You can freely share all your struggles with God because He has the power to forgive and transform your life. As you acknowledge the details of your sins to God, you show Him that you have nothing more you want to hide. You are humbly admitting that everything being revealed to you is uncovered and laid before His eyes who you give account to. This is the sanctification process, where you are being made whole and acceptable in his sight.
We should not fear judgement as we confess our sins, as we know that God has fully paid the price for them. He promises forgiveness and to break the sins that have control over us. Be as open and honest with your confession to enable the healing process. I strongly encourage you not to give up on yourself. Stop beating yourself up over the past. No matter what your life looks like right now, have faith and hope for your future to change. The pain of change is not easy, but staying where you are is not going to change anything for the better until you decide to do something about it.
Please check out my recent books called “Come Back Home (a memoir) and Heart of a Wife (a workbook). These are both designed to give you biblical insight and the skills to improve your roles as a wife and mother.
Heart of a Wife 