Maybe our lives haven’t turned out quite as we had expected they would be? Have our careers, our marriages, or our daily routines become completely unsatisfying? Is there that restlessness deep inside that keeps reminding us there’s more to life than what we have experienced? I know how it is to wake up with no zest for life, with depression, anxiety, and fear inside.
Not so long ago, this was the story of my life. It was a time that my entire world had fallen apart. I was filled with many years of disappointment and self-doubt. Everything I attempted to do with my life never seemed to work out.
This isn’t the way our lives were meant to be. That voice inside of us is telling us why … we were meant to fulfill our passion and desires. It is only our fears, doubts, and insecurities that get in the way and stop our dreams from coming alive. It just isn’t possible to make the choices we really desire if we never believe in our worth and satisfaction as children of God.
Maybe someone, somewhere along the way told us that we couldn’t shoot for our dreams, or that we weren’t enough to make it to the top. Maybe we have taken the criticism, judgement and opinions of others too hard, rather than just believing for the dreams in our hearts.
Yet, it is far better to have faith in our dreams than to give up on ourselves and never to have tried.
Our lives are dependent upon our positive thinking and the power God has given in our hearts and minds. No one has the ability to steal what is inside … that fire and passion that keeps us alive.
By the time I reached forty, I knew in the back of my mind that I had settled for less. I didn’t want to face this truth, and so I buried my heart and put my head in the sand. It was as if I was carrying the heavy weight of my unsatisfied life, while the possibility of being someone greater was dormant inside. I felt trapped amongst my negative beliefs, and was left hopeless without any vision of dreams.
It was on August 20, 2013 when reality pierced through my heart like a knife. Not only did my unhappiness and lack of confidence affect me, but also, my family’s lives. Although this day began just as ordinary as the rest, our lives were about to become a shattered mess. This was the day my daughter disappeared and was missing from our lives for many months at a time.
On this tragic day, I had to face two major problems. The first was that I had given up on believing in everything I was made to be. The second was my daughter’s need to secretly escape for a world full of chaos … just to get away from me. I was left with nothing more than the many distant miles, wondering if either of us would ever survive all of this pain and denial.
This was when it seemed to hit me square in the face … I had to stop running from my low self-esteem for my daughter to stop running from the desperation inside me.
As mothers, we play an essential role that will influence the lives of our children. The example we portray is a reflection of how they will learn to see themselves. If we are feeling as though we are worthless, they will eventually run for their lives because they are fearing this is how they will be. I knew that I had to change many things about myself if I wanted my world to be complete.
Maybe it’s time to deal with our issues inside … maybe it’s time we come out of denial.
To build confidence we need to be honest by asking ourselves the following questions:
~ Do we value ourselves as children of God?
~ Do we seek the Word of God for the truth in our everyday lives?
~ Are we willing to admit and confess our sins to God and strive to live with honesty and truth?
~ Do we seek only God for our personal fulfillment, meaning and purpose in life?
~ Are we being mindful of our thoughts and focusing on positive things?
~ Are we taking responsibility for our own lives?
~ How well do we relate to ourselves and others?
~ Have we stopped listening to the opinions of others?
~ Do we believe in our abilities to succeed?
~ Do we make time to do the things that we love doing?
~ Can we find the courage to be our creative best without the fear of failure?
~ Do we seek to be self-sufficient, and not dependent on others for our own lives?
~ Have we set boundaries by taking care of our own needs and can easily express them to others?
~ Have we stopped seeking the approval of others for our worth and validation?
~ Have we accepted that we count too and stop exempting ourselves from the equation?
~Have we stopped trying to control, fix or judge the lives of others, and are controlling our own?
~ Are we willing to continually re-evaluate our behaviors?
~ Do we have a faithful vision of hope for our lives?
~ Are we focused on what we are good at doing, acknowledging our heart’s desires? Do we recognize our own potential … and are we expanding in our hearts and minds?
It is not an easy venture into the depths of our broken souls, and to face this empty pit that seems like a dark and endless hole. But if we are willing to face the truth, and open our hearts to God, we will heal from all of the pain, and eventually get to the other side. There will be no more need to search far and wide … as we find the courage to unveil the hidden treasures from deep inside.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also (Matthew 6:21).